i like cool breeze on my face...
i like exploring never seen places...
i like passing back smile to people...
i like watching birds fly
i like taking a nap b/w lectures
i like waisting time just thinking what next?????
i like being alone when everyone is around....
i like walking alone under the streetlights....
i like drinking tea when it is raining....
i like riding my bicycle...
i like jumping on accumulated rain water...
i like to....stare at girls =)
i like eating chat especially when it is on a treat...
i like dancing in mariages with my eyes closed...
i like to just flow with the moment...i like to believe in me...i like to see me in my eyes...i like to be happy...
this is what i am,,,Winning or losing in part of life what is important is what you lessons learn from it...it is this sprit that makes one a winner...
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Saturday, November 14, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
the crushes of my life....
It all started when I came to this earth only in a place which had sex ratio so screwed up...I was born in Lucknow more importantly U.P where I had to stay all throughout my schooling life (unfortunately enough as fading the remotest chances of finding a GF in school life). Lower ratio of girls to boys does not tell the whole story. The truth is even more painful than that number. Now being in collage (more precisely IIT, brutally murdering even the thought of finding GF in the collage life) and still left with my hand and my laptop at nite is not why I give my vote to the government...I carry costly mobile phone not cause I can afford it, cause I don't have to recharge it and I can save lot of money in bills. And the only phone calls that I attend is of airtel or from back home. I deserve more than this.
Coming to the point it is not just the other sex that is so scarce but more so a species called beautiful girl are rarity to find, and even if if find them there is a new problem.......of age. How often do we find attractive girls of abt same age group as we are or there is any possibility of anything in future. And if against all odd if there we find a girl fitting into all the criteria we all fall for the same girl and end up drawing swords against each other. In the end, ending up where I am.
But somehow it is all very different for me. My life is full of one sided love affairs and multiple love affairs which ends when my dad gets transferred (damn u government). For me I never had the guts to go to a girl and tell her what I felt or even more I never had the guts to talk to them. As a young kid even I was so much fascinated by the word girl that throughout my life I lived in awe of them.
Mere presence of a girl made me so much physically active, totally alive and verbally silent. I did not know weather I was just a name or did I had an identity but I was always happy in there presence. And things have not changed from that time. I m still similar to that me that looked at girls in awe.
Nevertheless I keep all of my looser kind of attitude aside and look for a special person to arrive whose presence alone would make everybody else seems far away. Moving on I keep on falling in love and keep on enjoying life as it comes.
Coming to the point it is not just the other sex that is so scarce but more so a species called beautiful girl are rarity to find, and even if if find them there is a new problem.......of age. How often do we find attractive girls of abt same age group as we are or there is any possibility of anything in future. And if against all odd if there we find a girl fitting into all the criteria we all fall for the same girl and end up drawing swords against each other. In the end, ending up where I am.
But somehow it is all very different for me. My life is full of one sided love affairs and multiple love affairs which ends when my dad gets transferred (damn u government). For me I never had the guts to go to a girl and tell her what I felt or even more I never had the guts to talk to them. As a young kid even I was so much fascinated by the word girl that throughout my life I lived in awe of them.
Mere presence of a girl made me so much physically active, totally alive and verbally silent. I did not know weather I was just a name or did I had an identity but I was always happy in there presence. And things have not changed from that time. I m still similar to that me that looked at girls in awe.
Nevertheless I keep all of my looser kind of attitude aside and look for a special person to arrive whose presence alone would make everybody else seems far away. Moving on I keep on falling in love and keep on enjoying life as it comes.
black is my color
in black lies wisdom....in black lies darkness, security as if no one can see me... it assures me that i m alone and there is no need to fear....as if this darkness protects me from public glare...as if i have shades on and i can see people in the eye and they can not see me...this makes me comfortable and then this mind shows its true colours...this darkness this numbness this vastness becomes my canvass and i can now transform all my ideas all the sparks that this most creative and beautiful mind can...now this darkness has colours and it seems even brighter than the rainbow...the brightness of light in the world seems to fade away in this light...can a thought of one person be so strong so positive and so bright that it alone can create such an illusion...truly artistic...
sometime i feel i m a culprit who can not make eye contact to people...somewhere i m wrong...it is the fear of not doing things as it is done in the world...it is the fear of criticism...i live in this dual world where on one side i m living life as it is said how the world says, just going by the rules, just not interested in this world....on the other hand there is my own world created so beautifully
where i live without any troubles without any liabilities only to excel and be whatever i m my true self and not an imposition...
my aim in this life is to bring these two worlds of mine together...to also excel in this world which is more a reality in which i live without my soul...only bodily...i want to make this world also that kind of a place that is so beautiful, so mature, so wonderful and yet so true....Till then black is black and this is my colour and will remain till this process is complete...[:)]
sometime i feel i m a culprit who can not make eye contact to people...somewhere i m wrong...it is the fear of not doing things as it is done in the world...it is the fear of criticism...i live in this dual world where on one side i m living life as it is said how the world says, just going by the rules, just not interested in this world....on the other hand there is my own world created so beautifully
where i live without any troubles without any liabilities only to excel and be whatever i m my true self and not an imposition...
my aim in this life is to bring these two worlds of mine together...to also excel in this world which is more a reality in which i live without my soul...only bodily...i want to make this world also that kind of a place that is so beautiful, so mature, so wonderful and yet so true....Till then black is black and this is my colour and will remain till this process is complete...[:)]
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